


Inconvenient

by pikachuch1mchar



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikachuch1mchar/pseuds/pikachuch1mchar
Summary: Horrible. He hated remembering those horrible things.





	Inconvenient

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Venting on to Yuki? I would neeeever. 
> 
>  
> 
> ...Anyways.

Shinjuku was always a loud place, there was no denying that. If Yuki minded he wouldn't spend so much time there. Besides, the buzzing conversations in the red light district made for some good info. So when a loud arguing couple walked by, of course he tuned in. Maybe it was a bad relationship, maybe he could get the Thieves to help!

 

"I just don't understand why you have to act so-"

 

"-pathetic."

 

Quickly his enthusiasm was torn. He could almost hear Kamoshida berating him again. It was spat out in almost the same way, after all. Blinks of memories from that particular encounter flashed in his mind.

 

No. He didn't want to remember that. Not now. Not here in public, at least! But trying to board up the mental flood of memories only seemed to make them rush in.

 

He remembered being a first year on the team. Hoping for a fresh start, hoping that being part of a non-geeky club would give him some sort of place, some weak bond with _anyone._ He was trying so hard not to mess up, but his shitty luck ran out much too soon. Way too soon. If only he could have kept up, maybe he wouldn't have to hear it.

 

"What the hell would that ball do to you anyways? It was a students spike!"

 

"S-sorry sir," he could remember responding. He couldn't exactly remember what he felt back then, if it was fear, determination, obedience. All he could remember was that Kamoshida was angry with him.

 

"What could it have done, Mishima? I'm curious."

 

"I could have gotten hurt, sir! What if I got a bru-"

 

"A bruise? Is that just too much to trade for being useful? God damn it, I'll show you a fucking bruise-!"

 

Yuki ebbed back in to awareness as the memory became a bit faded. He'd been staring off at the opposite side of the street for a little while. Someone nervously made eye contact with him, so he quickly directed his gaze to his shoes. That was awkward as hell, why did he have to suck so much? 

 

He remembered trying to run just one time. He wondered why he didn't try more often. At least he could say he did then, he wouldn't just be cowardly and obedient. Maybe he deserved everything he got for not trying more.

 

But the one time he tried, he remembered the coach grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking him back so hard that he stumbled and fell. His hair prickled at the memory, a ghost of a sensation where it was pulled.

 

He couldn't remember what came directly afterwards. Just a mental picture of Kamoshida boiling mad, looking down at him, fists clenched.

 

No. No. He didn't want to think about this anymore.

 

"It's not about what you want, Mishima! Your selfishness is what's letting down the whole team!" Roared another memory. He could feel his legs wobbling as he recalled more of that scene. It was in front of everyone in the Volleyball club. Whatever he was being yelled at for before that phrase was lost. He knew he had missed saving a few balls that day, but he couldn't remember what got the man to say that particularly. He remembered being called to the PE room soon after. He struggled to stay standing as he remembered being slammed into the desk, and then slapped for messing up the papers that had fallen from the impact.

 

He tried to think of anything else to distract him. Yukis brain came up blank on requests from the Phansite. He tried to tune in to another conversation, but the flood of memories replaying over and over in his head was dizzying, he couldn't focus on something else at all. He squeezed his eyes shut in a futile attempt to help him close on to some external sound, but all it did was make him see the memories more vividly. He couldn't bring himself to tear them back open though. He was terrified that the memory of Kamoshida would notice and get angry.

 

He remembered all the shit he did just to avoid any special training for even just one day. From calling other students to doing despicable rumor spreading. Yuki wondered if he was really justified in that. Was it really ok to hurt the other members like that just because he was afraid of another fist? He'd dealt with it so much already, he could have taken it. And it didn't even save him then, he'd still get a hard punch or two so he wouldn't get rusty.

 

Maybe he deserved all he got, he thought. If it never worked to save himself by doing whatever Kamoshida wanted, maybe he deserved it. Dragging the others under the bus with him was despicable on its own, he was almost shocked that the other ex-members never continued what Kamoshida had been doing to him. Yuki felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. Maybe that was them right now, realizing what he had just realized-

 

"Yuki!" 

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by that one brisk shout. He opened his eyes slowly, just to see Akira with a concerned expression. Oh no. He couldn't have him worry about him, not now! He opened his mouth to speak, prying open a bear trap-like grip he hadn't known he'd been biting his lip with in the process.

 

"Oh, h-hi Kurusu," Yukis voice barely registered above a whisper. It didn't do much to deter Akiras concern like Yuki had hoped.

 

"Mishima, are you ok? You weren't responding for a while there."

 

"Oh yeah, I'm fine! Don't worry I was just-"

 

"You're shaking. Are you sure?" Akira said before Yuki could come up with a good excuse. But this gave him an easy thing to say, at least.

 

"I-I'm just cold, that's all!" Akira's concern only grew at that response.

 

"It's the middle of Summer," Akira said slowly. By now Yuki was panicking. He should have thought of that! Would he get in trouble for lying? Of course in reality he knew Akira wouldn't hurt him, but it didn't deter any of his paranoia.

 

Akira gave Yuki a once-over. "Come with me." He said.

 

"Wait, where?" Yuki tried to hide the shake in his voice. Akira wouldn't hurt him, he tried to tell himself that over and over. But what if he did? For the terrible way he acted, for he rumors he spread about him...

 

"I'm just going to bring you to LeBlanc. You look... Really rattled,"

 

"H-huh?" Well that wasn't what he expected. "I-i can just go to my own place!" 

 

"You don't look like you should be alone right now Mishima. Follow me." He said it with so much conviction, Yuki couldnt help but to shut his mouth and follow.

 

When they finally arrived, Akira sat Yuki down on the bed. 

 

"We're in private now, if that's what was bothering you. Now what's wrong?" Akira asked. His voice was stern and concrete, which was a big difference from his face, which was soft with worry. It made it clear that he was going to see through Yukis lies.

 

"I was just thinking about things, honest..." He paused, waiting for Akira to dismiss him, but he seemed intent on Yuki talking, even if it meant the incredibly awkward moments of silence that happened before Yuki spoke again. "Can I get your thoughts on something, Kurusu?"

 

"Of course." Kurusu said. Yuki took a deep breath, wondering if he should really say it.

 

"Tell me honestly Kurusu. I... I deserved all the beatings  _he_ gave me, didn't I?" Yuki said quietly. Akira was shocked and confused to silence, and Yuki couldn't help but blubber the rest of his thoughts to fill that quiet.

 

"I mean, I hurt so many people just because I couldn't speak up! I didn't even try to run away or anything after the first try! I-I could have just stopped calling people, but I never did! You-you have to admit it's ju- it's just-"

 

Thinking all of that to himself was one thing, but realizing he said it aloud to a now horrified looking Akira felt like a breaking point. His voice shriveled up in its tracks, and he couldn't stop himself from crying.

 

"Yuki..." The way Akira said his first name with such careful softness stung him too. "You know you didn-"

 

"But I did!" Yuki sobbed out, interrupting Akira. He felt so embarrassed for this, why couldn't he just wait till he got to his own place to cry like a kid?

 

"Listen to me." Akira said, sitting down next to Yuki. "There is nothing you could have done to deserve what happened to you." 

 

"B-but-!" Yuki blubbered. Akira quickly shooshed him and put a hand on his back.

 

"I said nothing." Akira started to move his hand in slow circles. "He had everyone under tight control. You can't be blamed for the things he told you to do. I know I don't blame you."

 

Yuki opened his mouth to protest against Akiras comforts again, only to have a fit of sharp sobs escape him. Akira waited for them to wane away before he continued in a voice that made it seem like he was talking to a wild bunny.

 

"You cant judge what you should have done in the past based on what you can do now, that's just all there is to it." He said it with such finality, Yuki couldn't even try to oppose it. He was too tired to anyways.

 

Akira didn't say anything else for the next few moments. He just let Yuki calm down for a bit. Yuki was confused by the kindness Akira was showing him. It was alien to him, but he was so, so thankful for it.

 

"You don't look like you're in any shape to go back out on your own." Akira said once Yuki had gotten down to sniffling.

 

"Thanks." He said as sarcastically as someone could post-breakdown. Akira smiled.

 

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it. Your parents won't mind if you stay here tonight, will they?" Yuki shook his head, deciding not to mention that his parents probably wouldn't even care if he went missing for a month or two. That was a whole other can of worms he didn't have the energy to think about.

 

"Good. The bathrooms downstairs, you should clean up a bit. You can sleep in my bed tonight" Akira said, satisfied. Yuki stood up and walked towards the stairs,  ready to accept Akiras generosity. Before he stepped down the stairs though, he had to pause.

 

"Kurusu... You're way too kind to me."

 

"You're just too hard on yourself, Mishima."

 

It was a peaceful rest of the night.


End file.
